School Of Rock
by nikki-of-stormhold
Summary: Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Buffy the vampire slayer, spike the vampire, Mia Thermopolis, Cooper Rivers and Cinderella all end up at a school where only rock music is on the syllabus. But at this school, life i
1. Chapter 1

**School Of Rock**

This is a crossover of several stories- mainly Harry Potter and Artemis Fowl. Please please please please review!

Chapter One- How did you get here?

Artemis opened his eyes. He was sitting in a classroom. It was a long time since he had been in a classroom, and he didn't altogether like it. He looked around at the other people in the room. There were an even number of boys to girls, and about ten of them all together. They were sitting in rows of about three, each at a separate desk. There was a chalkboard at the front of the room and a teacher's desk in front of it. The room was very plain and boring, and the chair Artemis was sitting on was not the most comfortable chair. He was on the end of a row. Next to him sat an older looking girl. She had blonde hair and was quite thin, but something about her scared him. Suddenly, looking at the desk, Artemis realised that he had no idea how he had ended up sitting in a chair in a classroom. He was about to ask the girl next to him when a man burst into the room.

"Good morning student dudes. Geeky, shut the door." He said.

It was several minutes before Artemis realised that the man was speaking to him. The whole class was looking at him, including the man he presumed was the teacher.

"Are you talking to…me?" he stammered.

"Am I looking at you?" the guy asked.

Artemis nodded.

"Would I look at you and say Geeky shut the door if I wasn't talking to you?"

Artemis almost choked. He had never been spoken to in such a manner.

"I presume not, but then I don't know you so you could b….."

"Dude just close the door!" someone yelled from the back of the room.

Artemis got up indignantly glaring at the man. He closed the door and sat back down, slightly red.

"Now, after that little display, let's get on with it." The man said. "I am your teacher, Mr Schneebly, and you, my little rocking friends are at The School of Rock. Questions?"

Everyone sat in stunned silence for a few minutes. The first to speak was a girl near the back of the room.

"Er, Mr… Schneebly? Why are we here? A minute ago I was at home and then I was…here."

"Oh yeah, register. Man I gotta get this teacher thing sorted."

Mr Schneebly sat down heavily and put his feet up on the desk.

"Ok. When I call your name tell me if you're here or not and if you are I'll tell you why."

They watched him as he pulled a crumpled scrap of paper out of his shirt pocket.

"Ah- ha. School of Rock, class of 2006. Ok. Artemis Fowl?"

"Here." Artemis snapped.

"Oh, Geeky! Well young man. You are here because you are on community service for a criminal offence." Mr Schneebly tutted and shook his head whilst Artemis turned even redder.

"Ithoughtas much. Buffy Summers?"

The girl next to Artemis looked up from the hole she was carving in the desk.

"That's me," she said.

"Ok, you are here because you got kicked out of three other schools."

The class laughed as Buffy went back to carving the hole.

"Next is…Harry Potter?"

A boy at the very back of the room put up his hand.

"Ok. You are apparently in hiding from a Lord…Voldemort?"

Harry went as red as Artemis whilst a boy next to him sniggered.

"Hey blondie what are you laughing at?" the teacher asked him. "Who are you?"

"Draco Malfoy," the boy answered.

"You're not listed. Why are you here?"

"Er…" Draco also went red.

"His friends knocked him out, put him in a sack and dumped him here," a ginger haired boy said.

Everone laughed, as Draco went redder still.

Artemis decided that the room was starting to look like a beetroot factory.

"Cinderella?" said Mr Schneebly.

Everyone turned around to look at the girl sitting next to Malfoy.

"You are on leave from your job as a servant."

"No, I'm not; I was on my way to Fairytopia for a new life when I ended up here. I really shouldn't be here, I…"

"Tough Luck sister, you are," Mr Schneebly said loudly over the laughing.

"You are all here for the duration."

A while later, everyone had been registered and now knew why they were there.

A girl called Hermione was 'trying something new', Ron, the ginger haired boy, had tried to get somewhere using a port key but had got the wrong one, Spike, a vampire, had got drunk and wandered in, Mia, a princess, was also in hiding but from hired hit men and Cooper, a seemingly normal human was there to 'learn about rock'

The ten students sat at their desks, waiting for Mr Schneebly to tell them the rest of what they wanted to know. They were all going to be their for two months, whether they liked it or not, and Artemis had a strange feeling he would not.


	2. Chapter 2 The fight

Chapter Two

It was about four in the afternoon. Mr Schneebly had been answering questions for two hours, and had now dismissed the class. The girls had gone with a woman to find their dormitory, whilst the boys had been given a map and left to their own devices. Ron was holding the map and was leading the group. They had already walked up a huge wooden staircase and down several corridors, and all five were carrying heavy suitcases.

"What is in these things anyway?" Spike moaned.

"I don't know but if Weasley doesn't hurry the fuck up his head will be finding out."

"Shut your stupid mouth Malfoy. Someone else read the map." Ron threw the map at Harry.

"Well I can't do it."

"Oh for goodness sake!" Artemis took the map, glanced at it and stormed off down the corridor.

The others exchanged glares and followed him.

They came to a door with a piece of paper pinned to it.

"It's got our names on it." Said Spike, leaning against the door frame.

"Well, we could just stand out here and admire the woodwork, but I'm going inside to see what's inside this suitcase,"Malfoy said snootily.

He went inside, followed by Artemis and Spike. Harry and Ron stood outside.

"You wanna go in?" Harry asked.

"Only if Malfoy comes out."

"Ron, we all have to be here for two months, so we are going to have to try to get on with him."

"Does get on with mean kill?"

"No. Ron, please."

Ron sighed.

"Ok."

He picked up his suitcase and went inside, closely followed by Harry.

The room was circular, and had five beds around the outside. Each one had a wardrobe next to it, and a small desk. There were only two beds left, and these were either side of Malfoy.

"No way." Ron shook his head. Im not sleeping within a mile of that buttmunch."

"Aww, Weasley learnt a new word! What the fuck is a buttmunch?"

"You are. It's another word for Bar…."

"Ok Ron, I'll swap with you." Artemis picked up his suitcase and walked over to Ron's bed. Ron moved slowly over to the bed Artemis had offered to swap, watching Malfoy all the way. Unfortunately, due to his eyes being focused on his arch enemy, he didn't see the suitcase. He fell over it backwards and landed on his back.

The whole room fell silent as everyone looked around to see what the terrific bang had been.

When Malfoy saw, he erupted into laughter.

This was too much for Ron. He got up and stormed over to Malfoy who was now lying on his back laughing. Ron grabbed the nearest object which happened to be a vase of daffodils and launched himself at Malfoy. There was a loud smashing sound and a high pitched scream. Malfoy was lying sprawled across his bed, broken glass and yellow petals all over him. Ron was leaning over him whacking his head with a large book.

It took Harry and Artemis to pull Ron off and Spike, a fully grown vampire to hold Malfoy down.

"You'll pay for that Weasley! I swear I'll get you!" Malfoy yelled, before fainting.

There was a short silence.

"Is he ok?"

Harry was still holding Ron back.

"I didn't do it!" Spike said, stepping clear of the limp body.

"Er, he kinda made a weird thudding sound and is now…out cold." Artemis said with his head on one size.

"What, so he faints? Stupid little ponce," Ron growled.

"Ron, you did smash a vase over his head," Harry reasoned.

"Should we get a nurse or something?" Artemis said.

"I'll fix it for him," Ronyelled, lunging at the unconscious Malfoy.

"RON! FUCKING WELL STOP IT!" Harry only just caught him in time.

"Now. I'm going to go and find Hermione and see if she can help us fix this….sticky.. situation."

Harry turned and made for the door.

"Ron, if I come back and he's dead you can tell his father why."

Harry left.

His last comment was enough to stop Ron from launching a third attack.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Hermione?"

Harry knocked on the door of the girl's dormitory.

"Hermione? We need some help. There was a…incident,"

There was no answer, but Harry noticed that a lot of noise was coming from inside the room.

"Hermione, I'm not joking, I'm coming in."

Harry opened the door and stepped inside. He stood for a minute to take it in.

The room looked like a tornado had hit it. There were clothes everywhere, and the large suitcases which Harry supposed they had come from were lying in various places around the room. Buffy had her arm raised ready to hit a cowering Mia, Cinderella was in the middle of whacking Cooper with bat of some sort and Hermione was sitting calmly on the bed. The commotion had stopped as Harry had come in, and all five girls were looking at him.

"Hey Harry," Hermione said, waving.

"Er…hey," Harry was dumbstruck.

There was a galumphing sound outside and Spike ran in.

"Potter, you had better come…..HOLY CRAP, WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TO EACH OTHER?"

Spike walked around the room admiring the mess.

"Wow, and I thought we had problems."

"Is this a bad time?" Harry asked Hermione. "Only we have some trouble of our own."

"What's up?"

"Er, Ron and Malfoy had a…disagreement." Harry said.

"Yeah, it was brilliant! Ginger whacked him over the head with…"

"We really could use your help." Harry cut Spike off.

Hermione sighed and got up.

Harry led the way out of the room, whilst Spike winked at Buffy and promptly got a fist in his face.

One night, a trip to the medical room and two broken bones later, everyone resumed their places in the classroom. Malfoy had a bandage around his head, and Spike had a plaster on his nose, due to the breakage caused by Buffy the previous evening.

"Good morning Ron!" Hermione said brightly.

Ron grunted and sat down.

"What's up with him?" Hermione whispered, as Mr Scneebly had just entered the room.

"I wouldn't let him continuously whack Malfoy over the head with a dictionary,"

Harry sighed.

"Ok kiddlywinks, sleep well?" Mr Scneebly said enthusiastically.

He ignored the series of groans that followed.

"Ok, today is your first lesson in rock. Today I will assess your musical ability (several sniggers) and tell you what instrument you will be playing in the band. Ok Geeky, you're first. Out here."

Artemis walked out to the space at the front that Mr Scneebly had indicated and stood there awkwardly.

"Geeky, did you ever do anything musical before?"

Artemis shook his head.

"Ok, what's your favourite instrument?"

"Er…don't have one."

Mr Schneebly sighed.

"Geeky, work with me here. Do you want to go back to prison?"

At the mention of jail Artemis decided he might try to be a bit more enthusiastic.

"Er, how about a roadie?"

"You want to be our roadie?"

Artemis shrugged.

"Well, I can't play anything.."

"Ok! Ladies, gentlemen and morons, I give you our roadie!"

Mr Schneebly clapped loudly, and a few people made a feeble attempt to follow.

"Ok, next is blondie."

Draco got up and made a few moaning sounds.

"My head.. my head…"

"Would you like me to use your head as guitar pick?"

Draco soon perked up.

"I played the drums once," he said quickly.

"Ok," Mr Scneebly got up and handed Malfoy a pair of drum sticks. He put on some rock music and sat down again.

"Give us a beat, blondie."

The class waited whilst Malfoy sat down and cleared his throat. He tapped out a beat on the snare drum, and put in a few rolls on the cymbals.

Mr Scneebly clapped again.

"Ok, blondie, you are our drummer! Have a seat. Buffy?"

Buffy slouched in her chair.

"Listen dude, I'm not musical at all, so why don't we just cut the…"

"Are you giving me attitude, young lady? Because if you are giving me attitude we are going to have to do something about it, like, say, add another month to your stay here at School Of Rock?"

Mr Scneebly smiled sweetly.

Buffy got up sidled to the front.

By twelve, Buffy had been appointed as lead singer, Ron as bass guitarist, Harry as lead guitar, Mia and Cinderella as backing vocals, Hermione as keyboardist and Spike had joined Artemis in his idea to be a roadie for the band.

In the lunch hall everyone had cheered up a bit. There was of course, still a feud between Ron and Malfoy, and a growing hate between Cinderella and Cooper.

Mr Schneebly had announced that the class after lunch would be used to get to grips with their instruments, and in Spike and Artemis's case, learn to 'talk roadie'.

To Be Continued…..


	4. Chapter 4

Hi people. I am going to start abbreviating Mr Schneebly to Mr S. If anyone has a problem with this take it up with my lawyer, you can find him in Disneyland under the name Mickey Mouse. ( Just don't, ok?)

Chapter Four

The food at School Of Rock was not excellent, Cooper had decided, but it was ok. She shovelled apple pie on to a plate and crammed some jelly in beside it. She moved along the queue, careful to keep her distance from Cinderella. _Stupid little bimbo,_ she thought. _Who does she think she is? _Cooper went and sat down next to Mia, her fellow victim.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey." Mia sounded upset.

"You ok?"

Mia nodded and burst into tears.

"I want to go home! I don't like it here!" she sobbed.

"Hey, it's ok, don't let Buffy get to you, she's just a bully. You can hang with me; we can be…rock buddies!" Cooper tried to cheer her up.

Mia sniffed and took the tissue Cooper offered. "Really?"

"Really."

"I'd like that." Mia smiled and turned to her food.

"Aww, has Cooper got a friend? Must be the first one."

Cinderella and Buffy were opposite Mia and Cooper. They sat down, laughing.

"Go and boil your head, Cinderella," Cooper said through gritted teeth.

"Oh how your insults slice me," Cinderella said dramatically.

Spike and Artemis sat down too.

"Are you guys having a bitch fight?"

"I wouldn't say that, I'm just being charitable and trying to help this social leper colony with their extreme retarded problems," Cinderella said sweetly.

Cooper snapped. The apple pie that had been on her plate flew through the air and landed with a satisfying plop. The problem was, it did not hit the target Cooper had intended, and before she knew it, a disgruntled Artemis was lobbing macaroni cheese at Cooper with a huge spoon. Cinderella's hysterical laughing was stopped as her mouth filled with boiled potatoes.

"Take that bitch!" Mia was throwing them wildly, sticking up for her 'rock buddie'.

Spike sat calmly at the corner of the table with all kinds of food flying past his ears. Harry and Hermione had joined him.

"Wow, I never knew chicks could be so violent," he said as a chicken burger hit his cheek. It wasn't long before the entire hall was throwing their lunch at each other. Spike continued to eat his lunch, and bits of anyone else's that happened to land within reach.

It was a while before order was restored. The ten students sat behind their desks once more, some trying hard not to laugh. Mr Schneebly was pacing up and down at the front of the classroom. He stopped and looked up.

"Ok. I don't want you guys to think I'm angry with you." He said.

"Gee, thanks Mr S," Buffy said happily, licking meringue off her hand.

"Your'e welcome. I'm not angry. I'm not angry because I'm FURIOUS!"

The whole class jumped as Mr Schneebly yelled the last word. He breathed in deeply.

"You guys have got two months to learn how to play like rock stars! Do you think rock stars have FOODFIGHTS?"

Ron was having problems suppressing his giggles.

"SHUT UP GINGER! TWO MONTHS! Are food fights going to help you pass you're finals? I DON'T THINK SO! Now. If I hear anymore about cracking vase's of daffodils over people's heads, the entire school's lunch being thrown around a room because of a bitch fight or whacking each other with bats,"

(Mr Schneebly looked at Cinderella)

"I will fail you all and you'll have to come back again for another two months. Do I make myself clear?"

The class nodded, and then erupted into fits of hysterical laughter.

When everyone had regained their composure, the work began. Mr Schneebly gave out instruments, or in Artemis and Spike's case, t-shirts and a pile of cardboard.

"What are we supposed to do with this?" Artemis asked.

"You and fangs are going to make signs to wave at the gig," Mr S replied, handing him some stakes of wood. Spike backed away.

"Stay away from me with those things!" He screamed.

"Oh yeah, sorry fangs," Mr S disappeared inside a cupboard. When he came out he had replaced the wooden stakes with polystyrene ones.

"Won't they brake?" Artemis moaned.

"Geeky, your duties as a roadie include finding a way to make them not break."

Mr S walked away leaving Artemis and Spike staring helplessly at the polystyrene.

Cooper, who had been appointed as the technical brains behind the band, had been given a special laptop to design the light show. She was sitting in the corner concentrating hard.

Draco was reading a book about drums and tapping out tunes on the edge of the table after reading them from it. Buffy, Cinderella and Mia had gone out of the room with a music book, CD and a page of lyrics each. Ron and Harry had each been given their different guitars and picks. Ron's guitar was plugged into an amplifier and he was wearing headphones. No-one else could hear what he was playing, but judging by the look of immense pain on his face it wasn't sounding too great. Harry was doing the same, but instead of pain it was concentration visible on his face. Hermione was immersed in a book of keyboard tunes. Mr Schneebly looked around, pleased. The band was coming together. But would they be ready in three weeks, in time for the practice gig?

To Be continued…….


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

**For all those non rock enthusiasts; a roadie is a person who operates and transports all the bands equipment, and advertises it, hence the signs and the t-shirts. Any other questions? Just ask. **

The afternoon had gone well. Mr Schneebly had been pleased with the band's progress, and dismissed them in a much better mood. It was now eight o'clock, and dinner had passed with everyone eating their food instead of throwing it at each other. Lights out was at nine thirty which wasn't too bad as everyone was tired after a long day. Hermione was in the library. She was doing her homework- reading up on famous keyboard players. The library was quiet, and there were only a few other people in there. She sat at a huge oak table, a large book in front of her. The light was dim and the radiator behind her was really warm, giving her nausea. She was just falling asleep when Harry sat down opposite her.

"Hey, you still doing homework?" he asked.

"Yep. Well I was before I fell asleep, anyway."

Harry looked at the cover of the book.

"I never knew you were good at keyboard. I was surprised when Mr S gave you that job."

"Well, we've had quite a few surprises. I mean, I didn't know you could play guitar."

"Neither did I," Harry smiled.

"And Ron. I didn't know he could play bass, or that he could smash glass vases over peoples heads," Hermione carried on.

"Well, actually, that was a bit out of character. I think there's something up with him at the moment. He's so highly strung, and I mean the high thing mostly. I found him walking around making telephone noises earlier," Harry said with a frown.

Hermione looked up.

"Hmm. Maybe I should talk to him. If he kills Malfoy he'll be in major trouble. Although the world would be much better without him."

They both laughed.

"But seriously, I'll talk to him." Hermione yawned.

"I'm going to bed now. Stuff this for tonight."

She slammed the book shut and put it back on the shelf.

"Night Harry."

"Night," Harry replied.

Hermione left, leaving Harry alone in the library.

Harry had gone back to his dormitory just before lights out. He had found Ron wandering around the corridors, looking for the supermarket. Harry was now really worried about Ron, and hoped that Hermione would talk to him soon. Draco was asleep and snoring loudly. Artemis was sitting in his bed, leaning against the headboard. He was writing something, but no-one seemed particularly interested. Spike had his head submerged in a huge suitcase, and was mumbling something. Harry looked around the room for Ron, who was hanging upside down from his bunk bed.

"RON? What the hell are you doing?"

"Who me?" Ron said innocently, still hanging upside down in his pyjamas.

Harry sighed.

"Ron there is something majorly wrong with you. Why are you acting so weird?"

Ron fell from his upside down position with a thud on the floor. He stood up and breathed in deeply.

"How very dare you."

Harry raised his eyebrows. Malfoy was still asleep but Spike had noticed the thud.

"Dude, are you drunk?" he said.

Ron turned to look at him.

"I am indeed merry," he said happily.

Artemis got up and walked over to Ron. He stared into his face, stood back and folded hiss arms.

"You are not drunk, but looking at your pupils I would say that you have taken something."

Ron stepped back defensively.

"I have not!"

Artemis narrowed his eyes.

"If I am forced to stay in this house of fun I would rather not sleep in the same room as an over grown toddler. What have you taken?" he said calmly.

Ron sat down on his suitcase and rubbed his head.

"I have a headache," he groaned.

"THAT'S IT!" Harry yelled.

"You took pills earlier to take away your headache! And yesterday!"

Artemis turned to face Harry.

"What did these pills look like?"

Harry thought.

"I found them in a jar in Madame Pomfrey's medicine cabinet. I was going to ask her but she wasn't around, and Ron was groaning."

"Did you read the label?" Artemis asked.

"No, but it said E on it….oh." Harry realised what had happened.

There was a short silence (except for Ron who was making aeroplane sounds).

"Ok. You fed your best friend happy pills to take away his headache?" Artemis asked incredulously.

"Not on purpose," Harry said feebly. "I didn't know!"

"It's ok mate. I still love you." Ron put his arm around Harry.

Draco snored louder.

"What do we do?" Harry asked.

"Dunk his head in some cold water and then let him sleep it off," Artemis said.

He went and ran some cold water in the sink.

Harry had the harder job of trying to get Ron to go into the bathroom.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"Er...to the water." Harry replied, dragging Ron.

"Ooh! Are we going to visit the fishies?"

"Yes Ron. That's right."

After the rather difficult task of dunking Ron's head in the water, they tucked him into his bed.

"Should we tie him in?" Harry asked quietly.

"No. He might throw up in the night." Artemis went back to his own bed and got in.

Harry and Spike did the same.

There was a short silence.

"aaargh!"

"What is it Ron?" Harry asked sleepily.

"There's a monster under my bed!" Ron yelled.

"If he doesn't shut the hell up Malfoy won't be the only one with stitches," Spike growled.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

When Ron woke up the next morning he felt like he had a hangover, which was strange because he had not drunk any alcohol. He rolled out of bed, forgetting that he was in a bunk bed. The huge thud woke Artemis up, but everyone else carried on snoring.

"Er…morning," Ron said nervously. He didn't remember having talked to Artemis much, and to tell the truth, the strange Irish boy made him a bit nervous.

"Good morning," Artemis said coolly. "You look better."

"What do you mean?" Ron asked, confused.

"Well, let's just say your best friend didn't help your headache much with those pills," Artemis said, smiling his evil smile.

"Shut up Fowl!" Harry had woken up.

"What's going on? Why don't I remember much of the past two days?" Ron looked bewildered.

"Ron, I'll explain later," Harry said moodily, throwing himself out of his bed and stomping into the bathroom. Artemis followed him, leaving Ron in the dorm with Spike and Malfoy still snoring.

"What was that all about? I thought we agreed not to say anything?" Harry said angrily.

"He asked me. Under the circumstances I think he deserves an answer," Artemis said coldly.

"What do you mean circumstances?" Harry shot back.

"Potter, you drugged your best friend."

"Un-intentionally!"

"Guys, I need to use the bathroom," Ron said loudly from outside.

"Look, I'll tell him later ok?" Harry snapped.

When Harry had explained what had happened to Ron, he felt much better. Ron however, still felt like he had drunk a crate of whisky the day before.

"Actually, it's quite funny," Ron mused. "I mean at least I have a reason being crap at bass guitar."

Harry was quiet.

"Just one thing. Malfoy."

"What about him?"

"Er…you kind of knocked him out with a vase of daffodils," Harry said.

"Wow! I did?"

"Yeh."

"Tell me I had a good reason."

"Er, well, kinda not really."

"Oh God." Ron went white.

Malfoy came into the room and glared at Ron.

"Do you think I should apolagise?" Ron hissed.

"I think it would make the next two months easier."

Ron gulped.

He walked slowly over to Malfoy and took a deep breath. This was going to hurt.

"Er, Malfoy?"

"What?"

"I….er…I'm sorry about the daffodil thing. Harry fed me happy pills so it wasn't really my fault and I don't remember what happened but having heard the story and seeing the bandage on your head and the vase Hermione tried to magic back together I just want to say sorry cos it must have hurt." Ron stopped, out of breath, but glad it was over. Now there was just Malfoy's reaction to come.

Malfoy leaned back in his chair, folded his arms and looked at Ron. Then he started laughing. Hysterically. Non- stop. Everyone turned to look at him, and then Ron burst into fits of laughter as well. Harry decided that he would join in, as did Spike and the rest of the class, except Artemis who just sat in his chair staring at them with a look of horror on his face.

When Mr Schneebly came in, he looked very shocked. He looked at Artemis.

"Geeky, what the hell is going on in here?"

Artemis was about to answer when the laughter stopped and Ron started yelling.

"Hey Mr S, Harry fed me happy pills and that's not even why I'm crap at bass I just am so can I swap with geeky?"

Mr S looked at him, and then smiled.

"Ok Ginger, only I am allowed to use insulting pet names, and yes you my swap with Geeky, even he must be better than you at bass. Now. Sit down and stop acting like you never came down."

Ron sat down smiling sweetly at Artemis, who scowled back.

"Ok kiddlywinks. We have some serious rocking to do!" Mr S clapped his hands together and rocked on his heels.

"Instruments out everyone. Now as you know, we have the practice gig in three weeks."

"We didn't know that," Hermione said.

"Shut up bush lady. Ya do now. As I was saying. This gig is gonna be tough. It's gonna require you to use your mind, and your brain, and your head too. Now. If anybody thinks they can't do this, please raise your hand now."

Mia and Hermione raised their hands.

"Ok. Tree hugger and Bush lady. Ignore what I just said. Anyone can rock, even if they don't think about it. Now. How is our lightshow coming along?"

Mr S looked at Cooper.

"Er, it's in it's early stages." She said.

"No no no not good enough. We need to hurry it up. What about our backing singers?"

"We suck." Cinderella said.

"Badly." Mia added.

"You guys, you're not hearing me. TWO MONTHS! That's all we have! what's with all these negative attitudes? Now. Get up, grab you're instruments and go melt some faces! Except Geeky cos you are starting bass today. Come with me."

Mr S left the room with Artemis following sulkily. Ron walked over to Spike.

"So. What do we roadies do then?"

The other side of the room, Harry was standing next to Draco's drum kit with his guitar plugged into an amp. He and Draco were synchronizing their playing.

"No! You're doing it wrong!" Draco snapped.

"What's your problem?"

"Er, you fed your demented friend happy pills and he knocked me out? I'm gonna have a scar!"

"Well. That'll make two of us. Now shut up and play the song."

Meanwhile, outside, Artemis was having a few problems with a bass guitar. The gig was coming closer, but still the band couldn't agree.

To be continued……….


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

**Ok people. I'm not sure if this is allowed but I am looking for 3 or 4 fan fiction members to be in this story. I need about three judges for the coming practice gig and a bus driver. If you would like to be a judge or a bus drive don't email me because my email has gone down, but either leave a review saying which one you'd like to be and what name you would like me to use, or find some other way of letting me know.**

**Thanks, enjoy!**

The lesson had gone well overall, but there were still problems. Artemis could not get his fingers to work properly, or at all. The bass guitar was so fiddly. Harry and Draco had had more success, and could now play half a song. Hermione had almost mastered the keyboard and the backing vocals turned out not to be as pants as Mia and Cinderella had thought. Cooper was sitting in her usual corner with her laptop on her desk. The light show for the stage gig was coming along well, but there was still something missing. Buffy was standing in a corner sulking because no-one could agree what song the band was going to play. Ron and Spike were just doing random things that no-one really understood or cared about. They called it 'roadie business.'

Mr Schneebly came into the room and cleared his throat.

"Ok dudes and dudettes, what is all the arguing? It's not cool to have un-rest amongst rockers."

"I'm bored because these morons can't decide on what song to play," Buffy piped up from her corner.

Mr Schneebly shook his head.

"You don't have to worry about that. It states in clause 12 of the school of rock contract that all material played in the battle of the bands must be original."

"What?" The whole class looked blank.

"He means we have to write the song ourselves," Hermione said loudly.

"Yes, bush lady, correct. The song that you play in three and a half weeks must be written by you." Mr Schneebly nodded.

"But Mr S?"

"Yes Ginger?"

"We suck. How are we supposed to write a song aswell?"

Mr S sat down at his desk, put his feet up and thought for a minute.

"Tree hugger, come out here a sec."

Mia got up and went cautiously to the front of the room.

"Now tree hugger. Why do you always wear that mongin perfume? you smell like an onion factory gone wrong. Also the humongous zit makes your face look like a volcano about to erupt. You walk around with that '_I'm so innocent and everyone hates perfect little me'_ look on you're face and expect everyone to fall for it and ignore the bitch behind it. And lastly, well not lastly because I could go on for ever but the last point I will make is that your clothes look like they have been kept in a wheely bin for months."

Mia had slowly gone red. Firstly with embarrassment and then with anger. She drew herself up and took a deep breath.

"HOW DARE YOU! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THESE CLOTHES CAME IN THAT FUCKING STUPID SUITCASE YOU KIDNAPPED ALONG WITH ME, THE PRINCESS OF GENOVIA!"

Mr Schneebly smiled and bridged his hands.

"Angry, tree hugger?"

"You bet I am!" Mia yelled turning on her heel and storming back to her seat.

"Good. Because anger is one of the best moods to be in to write a face melting rock song. Anyone else feeling angry?"

Cooper got to her feet.

"Me! How dare you kidnap us, stick us in confined areas with the most unbearable people on the planet and then insult Mia like that in front of them? Mr Schneebly you are one of the biggest buttmunches I have ever met in my whole entire life! YOU SUCK!"

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Mr S stood up and clapped.

"Ok, now you guys do whatever it takes to get into a mood like these two and write me some awesome material!" Mr S got up and left the room. He came back in just as Buffy was about to start a fight with Spike.

"And that excluded any form of physical contact!" He left again, leaving his class yelling happily at each other, with the exception of Artemis, who as usual, was sitting in his chair sulking.

To be continued………

**(Well, obviously.)**

**(Ok, so that wasn't the best chapter ever, but there is more to come that will hopefully kick the ass of this chapter. Please somebody get back to me on the role of the judges and the bus driver!)**

**Thanks, please R&R!**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

**Ok so I have my three judges. These are; ****brown-eyed angelofmusic****jenn120**** and ****Moony's Girl06****. I still need a bus driver who will have quite a part, and I will need a few more in the future. I'll let you know. Here we go…………….**

Draco was sitting on the common room sofa. He was holding a notepad and pen, a vacant expression on his face. There was a huge bang, and Spike fell out of a cupboard.

Draco jumped.

"What are you doing?" he asked, annoyed at having been broken from his thoughts.

"Hiding. I swear that Cinderella chick has mental issues," Spike said, his left eye quivering. It looked like it had yoghurt dripping from it.

"Well then hide quietly."

Spike instead chose to leave the room, checking the corridor cautiously and then legging it.

Draco went back to his notepad. He hadn't realized how hard this was going to be. He liked playing the drums, but songwriting was just not for him.

Then someone burst through the door.

"Where is he?" it was a mad looking Cinderella.

"For God's sake! I'm trying to do something here!" Draco yelled, tearing a piece of paper off the notepad and screwing it up. Cinderella looked at him strangely and picked up the paper.

She opened it up and read it.

"_At first I thought it was a disguise, but it was a monster with green eyes_….Draco, what is this crap?"

Draco went red.

"It's my song."

"Oh. Well, no offence but it sucks. Who writes songs about monsters with green eyes?"

"Mr S said use powerful emotions, so I thought I'd try jealousy." Draco said feebly.

"Ohh, the green eyed monster." Cinderella started laughing.

"Shut up, ok? At least I'm trying. I bet you couldn't do any better. What do girls know about rock music anyway?" Draco snapped.

Cinderella left, still laughing.

In the girls dormitory, the lights had just gone out. Cinderella was sitting on her bed cross legged, brushing her hair. Mia and Hermione were reading each others lyrics, Buffy was doing sit ups and Cooper was lying on her bed staring up at the ceiling. The room was quiet, and so far, hell had not broken loose.

"Mia, are you ok?" Cooper asked.

"Yeah. Just a bit homesick. You?"

"I don't know. I'm actually quite enjoying being here. I like the lessons, and Mr S is quite cool."

"Yeah I know how you feel. I'm enjoying myself too," Hermione joined in. Everyone had gone quiet and got into bed.

"So. Who likes who?" Buffy said casually.

"What?"

"The guys. Who in here digs who in there?"

There was a short pause.

"Ok, I'll start. I like Spike." Buffy said.

"But you broke his nose."

"He winked at me. That has to be the cheesiest thing a guy can do. What about you?"

Hermione went red, glad it was dark so no-one could see.

"Errr…."

"Come on, we have to get to know each other better, and perhaps mucking about with the guys will bring us some laughs," Buffy said in a bored tone. It was clear that she had been lectured by Mr S as the oldest in the group.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I like…. Harry," Hermione said timidly.

"That is so sweet! What about you Hooper?"

"It's Cooper,"

"Whatever. Who do you dig?"

"Well, I kinda like Ron," Cooper said, smiling.

"My turn!" Cinderella yelled. "Draco is HOT." Everyone sniggered as silently as they could.

"Ok twisted sister. That leaves geeky for Mia!" Buffy laughed and turned over.

"I don't mind," Mia smiled shyly.

"WHAT?"

"I'm ok with Artemis being left for me. I like him."

"But he's so up himself!" Hermione exclaimed.

"He's creepy. He reminds me of a leprechaun," Cinderella said.

"Why?"

"Because he's Irish."

Everyone laughed.

"That's the dumbest thing you have ever said. But seriously Mia, why _do_ you like that loser?"

"Hey, Mia can like who she wants to!" Cooper threw a pillow, hoping that it went vaguely in the direction of Buffy. It didn't.

"Who threw that?" a surprised voice asked.

"I did. Sorry. It was supposed to hit Buffy." Cooper said tiredly.

"Well it didn't!" A pillow landed on cooper and she wasn't tired anymore. She sat bolt upright and chucked the pillow at the voice.

It wasn't long before a pillow fight began.

"Take that!" Mia yelled, getting involved in the thick of it for once. She didn't know who she was hitting because it was dark. No-one did. Then there was a loud clang. Everything went still. Feathers were floating everywhere, once again the room was a tip, pillows were in strange places and Cinderella was lying on the floor, unconscious.

"What happened?"

Then Mia realized. She had felt the impact.

"Oops. Errr….."

Cooper turned in the direction of her voice.

"What did you do? I didn't know feathers were dangerous."

"I put my alarm clock in my pillow so it would wake me up." Mia said feebly.

"It was an accident!"

There was more silence, and then laughing and congratulations.

"Come on. We had better clear up. I doubt Mr. S will class a pillow fight as 'rock star' behavior." Hermione started to pick up feathers, then remembered a suitable spell for the job.

"What about Cinderella?" Buffy said. "We can't just leave her on the floor, it looks dodgy."

"Hmm. Can you lift her?"

Mia stood back and watched as Buffy carried Cinderella to her bed, a triumphant feeling running through her. Perhaps her stay at school of rock wasn't going to be so bad after all.

**Ok, so that was a bad chapter. Sorry. Bad day. I'll try harder tomorrow. **


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

**Hi people I'm really happy with the response I have had to this story, thanks to all those who have reviewed so far, please keep it up! It makes it easier to write if you guys point out things, so thanks again. Also, I now have my bus driver-**Phantom Stallion. **Thanks!**** Onward ho! (ps If I get anyone's name or gender wrong- yes I am stupid enough to do this- I am really sorry and tell me so I can change it!)**

The girls had managed to keep the pillow fight from the attention of Mr. S mainly by using a lot of make up to cover up the huge bruise on Cinderella's forehead, and Draco had completely given up his song writing In fact the whole group had decided to leave that part to the three volunteers- Mia, Artemis and Buffy. Buffy had insisted that she be a part of it because she wasn't going to sing _someone else's made up crap without having read and approved it first._ This had annoyed Mia because she had been hoping for some romantic possibly poetic song writing time alone with Artemis. They were well into their second week at School Of Rock and everyone was getting on decidedly better than when they had first arrived. Their playing had also marginally improved- Artemis could now play two chords on the bass guitar, and Draco was now only breaking three drumsticks a day. Overall, the mood had improved and spirits were higher. This was why Mr Schneebly had decided to let them have an afternoon off and go out in the evening.

"On Friday afternoon I'm gonna let you hard working little kiddlywinks out of here early so you can have some chilling time. Now, this does not mean that you can get up to criminal activities, and anyone caught trying to escape will have another four months added to their stay here plus they will probably meet a very sticky end."

"What do you mean, Mr S?" Cooper asked.

"Well, let's just say that no-one in this neighbourhood goes anywhere without a baseball bat." Mr S replied, gesturing to a large bump on his head.

"Now, Ginger, why weren't you in rock appreciation yesterday?"

In the boys dormitory, the lights had just gone out. Even so, Spike was parading around unintentionally in his underwear looking for his pyjamas. Ron was sitting up in bed, talking to Harry, and Draco was doing something to his hair, although no-one could see as it was so dark. Artemis was, again, writing something.

"Ah ha!" Spike made everyone jump.

"I've got them!"

"That's terrific, really, but shut the hell up!" Draco yelled moodily, slamming the lid on to the jar of whatever he had been putting on his hair.

"What's up with you?" Harry asked, turning in the direction of the voice.

"PMT." Ron added from behind.

"Oh Weasley, you are so funny, Oh my aching sides." Malfoy mocked.

"_I_ know what's wrong with him. He hasn't asked the crazy chick who wants to kill me on a date for Friday yet." Spike said from his bed in the corner. "Mate, you have just got to go ahead and do it."

"Yeah? And what do I do if she says no?" Draco snapped.

"Then you start begging, if you're that desperate." Spike and Ron started laughing.

"I take it we are talking about Cinderella here?" Harry said. "I'll ask her for you if you like."

"No thanks Potter, I can do it myself." Draco said. "But you had better hurry up and ask the prize geek before she dies of an oversized brain."

Harry looked at his shadow steadily.

"If you are talking about Hermione, I already have. She said yes."

"Wow! Harry's got a date! I haven't." Ron said happily.

"Do you want one?"

"Err…"

"Ron, mate, speak. I'll ask her for you if you don't wanna do it yourself. It is a her, right?"

"YES! HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT I AM GAY?" Ron yelled, trying to change the subject. He realised it wasn't going to work.

"Ok, it's…..Cooper."

After the laughing had stopped, Ron vowed aloud that he would ask her tomorrow.

"So Spike. Are you going with Buffy?"

"Yeh. We are going to set fire to stuff in the park."

"Didn't she like, break your nose?"

"And verbally abuse you beyond belief?" Harry and Ron said in disbelief.

"Yeh. It's a sign of affection. We have punch ups and bitch fights all the time in Sunnydale. It's like a little pet thing we have." Spike said casually.

Then everyone realised that Artemis was being really quiet. He had stopped writing, and was now lying down.

"Hey, Artemis. Who are you gonna ask out?"

No answer.

"Oy! Geeky? Ohh. I get it you are gay."

Still no answer.

Spike realised that trying to wind Artemis up wasn't going to get him to speak, so he got up and strolled over to the Irish boy's bed. Then he threw himself onto it.

The muffled scream and yelling that followed stopped as Spike rolled onto the floor with a thud, but it was enough to make Artemis speak.

"Ok, ok, Mia asked me to go out with her on Friday."

"And you said…."

"He said _no, sorry, I only like men_." Ron added.

"No. I said yes, actually. Goodnight." Artemis pulled up the covers, rolled over and spoke no more.

To be continued………..

**(This was one for the boys).**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

**Ok Hi people sorry I haven't updated for a while, life has been busy. Here we go!**

Friday came before any of the students knew it. The morning went slowly, and as most of them hadn't got to sleep until the early hours, they were all sleepy and irritable. This went for Mr S too. He seemed to have forgotten that he had promised them the afternoon off, and when he was reminded, he was not best pleased. But, after a spot of yelling and a few minutes of verbal abuse, everyone was happy. It was eleven thirty in the morning.

"Hey, Mr S, when did you say we were getting let out?" Ron yelled.

Mr S looked at him across the room.

"Ginger, kindly do not shout. Twelve. Now, on with the rocking!"

They spent the next half an hour trying to learn to play in time, but to no avail. Mr S decided to give up in the end, and when the bell for lunch went, he looked relieved.

"Ok, you guys have a good time."

"Gee, thanks Mr S," Buffy said excitedly.

"Oh, and one more thing!"

The class paused at the door and turned around to face him.

"If I hear about anyone assaulting, annoying, or damaging the general public or their property in anyway, there will be consequences. BAD ONES."

"It's ok Mr S, you don't have to worry about us," Harry winked at him.

"No, junky, I really think I do." Mr S grimaced as the class left the room.

The ten students had agreed to all leave the school together at five o'clock. The boys had put up a protest, saying that the girls surely didn't need five hours to get ready, but a sharp punch from Buffy had soon shut up their representative.

"Oooh I love it when she gets mad," Spike said in a high pitched voice, holding his groin in pain. The boys had then dragged him away to their dormitory to get ready.

Artemis sat down on his bed, watching the other four getting ready. Draco noticed him.

"Hey Fowl, why aren't you getting all dolled up?"

Artemis looked up.

"Do you want me to help with your make up?"

"Shut up Malfoy!" Artemis got up and went over to his suitcase. The truth was, he hadn't ever been on a proper date with a proper girl before, and he had no idea what he was doing. He looked inside the case. The array of shirts was confusing. Which one would Mia like? What if it looked stupid and she laughed at him? In the end he chose a dark blue, almost black shirt which he pulled on and left a few buttons undone at the top, leaving his neck exposed. He put on a pair of jeans and looked in the mirror. He walked into the bathroom to get some aftershave, unexpecting of the yells that followed.

"SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR FOWL!" Spike was in the shower, stark naked. He grabbed a puffy, pink sponge and positioned it strategically. Artemis slammed the door and ran to the other side of the room. Harry and Ron burst in from the other bathroom.

"What's all the yelling about?" Harry asked.

Spike was now out of the shower and was standing near the door, holding a towel around his waist.

"Fowl is a gay, that's what's going on!" he yelled.

"Excuse me? Are you familiar with the concept of locking the door if you intend to remove all of your clothes?" Artemis said indignantly.

Draco was busy laughing in the background.

"What, so, Artemis walked in on Spike in the shower?" Ron said.

"YES!" Spike yelled, not realising that his towel had fallen down.

"For Christ's sake PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Artemis yelled turning around.

"It's bad enough seeing you naked once in one day but twice! That's enough to scar anyone for life!"

Spike put on a pair of black trousers and a deep red shirt. He kept well away from Artemis and kept glancing at him suspiciously. Harry had put on a white shirt with an open neck and a pair of light blue jeans, and Ron was wearing a blue shirt with dark jeans. Draco was still undecided.

"Hmm. Shall I go for the black or the grey?"

"Well whichever one you choose, you'll still be a babe repeller," Ron sniggered.

After the incident with the daffodils, Draco chose to ignore the comment, and chose the black shirt with a pair of jeans. After they had all put on gallons of aftershave, hair gel and a jacket each, they made their way downstairs to the common room to wait for the girls.

In the girls dorm, Mia and Cooper were in the middle of a crisis. They had both discovered the same top in their suitcases, and both wanted to wear it.

"Look, it goes better with my jeans," Cooper said, parading in front of the mirror.

"Well it looks nice with my skirt!" Mia argued.

"Ok, I have an idea," Buffy went over to the two of them. "Whoever can eat the most toothpaste in twenty seconds can wear the top." She handed each of them a tube of toothpaste and looked at her watch.

"Ok, GO!" Twenty seconds later, Mia had thrown up and Cooper was wearing the top. It was dark blue and had straps that were lacy.

Mia came out of the bathroom looking pale.

"Now what do I wear?" She wailed.

"Why are _you_ so anxious to look good anyway?" Cinderella cooed. "Wanna look good for your geek?"

Mia ignored her, but to make herself feel better, she swapped Cinderella's eyeshadow for boot polish.

Eventually, Mia decided to wear a light blue halter neck top with a white knee length skirt. She had flat sandals on, and she did her hair in a messy bun. Mia didn't usually wear much make up, and today was no exception. Cooper, feeling slightly guilty, came over.

"Look, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to make you sick," she said.

"It's ok, the top looks better on you anyway. I bet Ron loves it,"

Cooper smiled.

"You look great too. Artemis might walk into something when he sees you!"

The other side of the room, Buffy was carefully putting on mascara in the mirror. Her skirt, which Hermione said was more like a belt, was creeping dangerously up her leg. Her matching leopard skin top was also very revealing, but she didn't seem to mind that she was going out into the world dressed as a hooker. Hermione was wearing a slinky black top with a long white skirt, and was testing out which high heeled shoes she could walk in without falling over. Cinderella had just put boot polish all over her eyes, and was shrieking swear words and scrubbing frantically at her face.

"Hey guys! I just thought of something. We don't have any money!" Cooper pointed out.

"Well, if the worst comes to the worst, we could always make Buffy stand on the street corner," Hermione said, laughing.

Luckily, Buffy hadn't heard her. She had just found an envelope under the door. It contained four hundred dollars.

"This should be enough," she said, gesturing to it.

"Wow! How drunk does he want us to get?" Mia said, wide eyed. They split the money five ways and went downstairs to meet the boys. No one knew what the evening had in store, but whatever it was, it was going to be interesting……………

**More to come, hopefully soon, but after the week I've had, don't hold your breath**.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

**DATE TIME! BUT…….These are no normal dates.**

When everyone had met in the common room and argued about how late they were, they decided to go to a gig in the local town. Between them they had eight hundred dollars, but they decided to walk, and save the money for other things. It was only a short walk, and by 5.20 they were in the town centre.

"Ok, the gig is just down the road. Wanna split up?" Harry said, standing up on a bench.

There was a short babble of conversation, and then someone yelled in agreement. Hermione walked slowly over to Harry and cleared her throat.

"Hey." She said.

Harry turned around and blushed.

"Hi. Er, you do wanna go to the gig, right? I mean…we don't have to if you don't want to I just thought…"

"Harry, its fine. We could learn something from the band. After all, it will be us in a matter of weeks." Hermione smiled at Harry nervously.

They walked off, announcing that they would see everyone at the gig later. Spike and Buffy had gone behind a bush and said nothing, so Ron yelled the plan loud enough for them to hear it, even though they did sound a little distracted. Cinderella had grabbed Malfoy's arm and was steering him down the road in the direction of the gig. Cooper was talking to Ron and blushing the colour of his hair. Only Mia and Artemis were silent. Mia looked at him nervously. He was looking at something across the road, so she went and sat down on the bench with a sigh. He seemed to have heard the sigh, and turned to face the bench. He put his hands in his pockets, looked down at his feet and mumbled something.

"Er, sorry, I didn't catch that," Mia said looking up.

Artemis looked up and blushed.

"I said what do you want to do."

"Oh. Errr…." There was an awkward silence. Then Mia jumped up.

"I have an idea! We could walk round the town and laugh at all the weirdo's!"

Artemis thought for a while.

"Ok. I think the town is circular, so we could end up at the gig."

They walked off down a path, an awkward gap between them.

Meanwhile, Cinderella and Draco had taken a different route, through the more lively part of the town. The street was packed, and Draco had a job to hear Cinderella over the noise. He could see her lips moving, but he couldn't hear what she was saying.

"What did you say?"

Cinderella rolled her eyes, grabbed Draco's arm and pulled him aside. They were in the lobby of a bar, or pub of some sort.

"I said, what shall we do? The gig doesn't start for ages."

"Oh." Draco thought for a moment. "Well, this looks like a pub or something. Do you wanna get a drink?"

She nodded and led the way through some double doors. The bar was dimly lit my neon lights, and small tables were clustered around the room. It went quiet when they went in, and everyone turned to look at them.

Draco noticed something strange. There were no women in the bar, only men. And strange men at that. He guided Cinderella to the bar and cleared his throat. A teenage boy made his way over.

"What can I get you sweetheart?"

Draco blinked at him.

"Excuse me?"

The boy leant on the counter. "What can I get you?"

"Er, two cokes please," Draco said, a strange expression on his face.

Cinderella poked him.

"Er, Draco?"

He turned around to face her.

"Yeah?"

She pointed at a neon sign above the door. It was flashing two words. GAY BAR.

Draco turned pale.

"I think that means that the guys in here bat for the other team. You know, they're…"

Draco clamped his hand over her mouth and led her out of the bar.

"But what about our drinks?" Cinderella protested.

"Not thirsty."

Spike and Buffy were still busy behind the bush.

Harry and Hermione were having a fantastic time eating ice cream at Icy the snowman's Ice cream bar. There were a number of red tables scattered around under a red and white canopy. Each table had two red armchairs either side of it. The only light came from the ice cream bar and the fairy lights draped along the canopy and around each table.

"Ooh, try this one!" Hermione held out a spoon heaped with a violently green sample of ice cream. Harry took it, and shovelled it into his mouth. He turned a strange colour, and started flapping his hands around.

"You don't like it?"

"Yeah, it's just….really cold," he said, returning to normal.

"Harry its ice cream."

"Was that mint?" he asked.

"Yeah. Harry? Can I tell you something?"

Harry sat back in his armchair and sipped a glass of orange juice.

"Sure. What is it?"

Hermione bit her lip.

"Well. Dumbledore told me a while ago that he was sending you to School of Rock, and I… I…"

Harry sat forwards again.

"Hermione? What?"

Hermione took a deep breath.

"You and Ron are my best friends and I couldn't handle the idea of a term without you so I filled out a form to come here as well and swapped Ron's port key so that he would end up here too and I'm really really sorry but I had to do it I had to."

Hermione was now well and truly worked up. Her hair was coming out of its clip and falling all over her red face, and her hands were fiddling on the table agitatedly. She looked down.

"Please don't be mad at me."

Harry smiled.

"I'm not mad at you Hermione. On the contrary, I'm glad you did it. The idea of a whole term alone with Malfoy and the morons makes me feel like killing myself."

"Really?" Hermione looked up.

"Really. Now stop getting in a flap."

Harry edged around the table and hugged her.

"Ok, thanks." She sniffed.

"Oh and Hermione? You have ice cream on your nose."

Spike and Buffy were still behind the bush.

Ron and Cooper had broken the ice and were now in the town costume shop. Ron was in one changing room and Cooper was in another.

"Ok. On three. One, two, three!"

They both jumped out, looked at each other and started laughing hysterically.

"HA HA HAHA HA!" Ron was rolling around on the floor. "You look like a right plonker!"

Cooper faked an indignant look.

"Oh, and I suppose you look normal." She collapsed on the floor with laughter as well.

Cooper took out her cell phone and took a picture of Ron. He did the same to her.

"Hey Ron, if people see a picture of the pink power ranger on your phone they might think you have mental problems," Cooper said, out of breath from laughing.

"Well if they see a giant foam carrot with ginger hair on yours they might call the police!" He wheezed back.

Then they started laughing again.

And still Spike and Buffy were behind the bush.

To be continued……………...(he he he! I like dots)……

………...


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

**Sorry this update has been so long coming. I'm very very very sorry. Oh well!**

When everyone had regained a state of normalness, they met up at the gig. Ron and Cooper had replaced their costumes with their normal clothes, Hermione and Harry felt sick from over indulging in ice cream, Draco was well and truly creeped out, which Cinderella was finding hilarious, and Artemis was in a strangely good mood. Buffy and Spike looked like they had been dragged through a bush backwards (well the bush bit was correct) and Mia was her usual quiet self. They had met up outside the gig, which was being held in a huge, town hall like place. It was quite cold, and Spike and Buffy had arrived late, so a few members of the group were a little irritated.

"What took you so long?" Ron asked, shivering.

"Er…got stuck on a twig." Buffy pulled some leaves out of her hair, blushing slightly.

They made their way inside, through a narrow door.

Once inside the crowded entrance, they were squished into a long line. It was packed, and no-one could move their arms.

A large doorman was at the head of the line, letting people in one at a time. It was Spike's turn.

"Do you have any weapons of any kind on your person?" the doorman said in a deeply bored voice.

"Well only if you count the handgun in my right pocket, the two grenades in my left, three knives and machete in my boots and the shotgun up my sleeve," Spike said.

There was a short pause, in which the doorman's face turned sour.

"What?"

"Nope." Spike decided it was best to behave himself.

The doorman stamped his hand with a permanent marker, and shoved him through the door.

The other nine students passed through the door without incident, deciding to ignore Spike's example.

Once inside, Artemis took a minute to adjust to his surroundings. He had never been to a gig before, and wasn't entirely ready for it. It was extremely hot, and very dark except for the flashing lights everywhere. The hall was packed full of people, but not the kind he was used to mixing with. A guy with loads of strange piercings pushed past him, sending him cascading into someone he could only describe as a child of the devil. He decided to follow the rest of the group, just to be on the safe side. Where was Butler when he needed him?

The lead singer of the band playing was making strange howling noises into the microphone. The drummer looked like someone had left a pinecone on his stool, and the guitarists were clearly on drugs of some kind. However, they were immensely popular amongst the crowd. The 'song' finished just as Artemis was wishing he had a pair of earmuffs.

"Hey dudes and dudettes of coolness." The singer had stopped howling and was now slurring in a deep voice. He reminded Artemis of Shaggy from Scooby- Doo.

"Anyone wanna grab the mike for a sec?"

There were lots of screams, and several people scrambled onto the stage. Then a really fat guy jumped into the crowd, who seemed to love this, and surfed him right across the room and back to the stage again. Then the lead singer oft the band grabbed the microphone back and yelled for quiet.

"Er….do we have a ….School of Rock …in the audience?" He was squinting at a piece of paper in his hand. The hall was silent.

The ten students looked at each other.

"Ok dudes. Where are you? Get up here and play a song."

"Schneebly." Harry muttered. "I'm gonna kill him."

"Guys, we might as well just do it." Ron whispered.

"Yeah, or we could just leg it?"

"What, and you think they aren't gonna see ten teenagers-"

"Er, I'm five hundred and sixty two." Spike said.

"Well nine teenagers and a demented vampire all trying to get out at the same time?"

"Ron is right. We might as well just play the song."

When everyone was agreed, Harry raised his hand.

"Er…'dude'? We are here. We are School of Rock." They made their way to the stage, the crowd parting silently to let them through.

The band on stage took of their instruments and lolled off the stage, the lead guitarist pausing to tell Harry that if he damaged his guitar, he would disembowel him with a spoon. Harry swallowed and picked up the guitar. The microphone squeeked as Buffy lowered it, and Ron and Spike were at the side of the stage their hands in their pockets and confused expressions on their faces. Cooper had disappeared up some stairs to sort out the lighting, Cinderella and Mia were standing nervously behind two more microphones in the background, Artemis had a bass guitar hanging limply around his neck, Hermione was behind a keyboard, the stand of which was concealing her face, and Draco was seated behind a shiny drum kit. There was a short silence, then some yells from the crowd to get on with it. The other band counted them in.

The song went well overall, and the light show, which no-one had seen yet, was fantastic. Cooper had been working very hard on it. It seemed to go on for ever instead of four and a half short minutes. They went out of time half way through, but soon got back in sync. It was the first time they had played the whole song together without stopping. When they stopped, the crowd were cheering.

"You guys rock!" The other band had come back on and were patting School of Rock hard on the back.

"Thanks," Harry wheezed, having being winded by the beefy guitarist.

There were also yells from the floor.

"Yeah! School of Rock!"

"Play some more!"

"School of Rock!"

"YOUR ROADIES SUCK!"

Ron and Spike, who had looked bored and thoroughly embarrassed throughout the song had done nothing but wave their arms droopily. Spike decided to fix this. He stomped on to the stage, raised his arms and yelled.

"Yeah! Thank you very much we are in town till Friday! We are the School of Rock!" He executed his display by leaping off the stage in a bold attempt to crowd surf.

Unfortunately, the crowd had decided that Spike was a moron, and parted so he hit the floor. There was a short silence, and then more cheering. Spike was left on the floor to be trampled.

The walk back to the School was a loud and happy one. Most of the students were drunk, having accepted drinks from all their new fans. Spike was extremely drunk, giving the excuse that alcohol numbed the pain.

"Hey guys?" Mia, at the head of the procession, was yelling, totally out of character.

"If we rocked that much at a small town gig, then just think what we can do at a huge concert!"

Mr Schneebly, who was watching the students from a window high above, smiled to himself. He'd done it again.

To be continued………

(look out for the bus driver and judges in the next chapter!)


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

**OK people, bus driver in this chapter! You'll have to bear with me because I don't know anything about you, except that your name in this is Brendon. Sorry I have been a while updating, you see I had a tetanus jab and so my arm id dead. Onward ho!**

The students had awoken the next day with severe hangovers. In the boy's dormitory, Harry was dunking his head in a sink of cold water in an attempt to try to make himself feel less dead. It wasn't working. Ron was taking a cold shower, and consequently there were lots of high pitched screaming sounds coming from the shower room. Artemis felt so bad that he couldn't even drag himself from his bed. Instead he pulled the covers over his head and scrunched himself up. Draco and Spike, in between groans of their own, were finding this quite funny.

"HA HA HA! Rich boy is wasted!" Spike giggled.

There was a muffled groaning sound.

"Didn't you know that it is petty and childish to tease people because of heir monetary status?" Artemis was still buried in his covers.

"Oooh! Quick Spike, leg it! He's getting really nasty now!" Draco said, also laughing.

"It's all that Ribena he had to drink last night. And then with the orange squash as well. I don't expect his system could handle it." Spike said, rolling out of his bed with laughter.

"Yeah!" Draco wheezed. "Geeky, I thought everyone knew not to mix drugs with drink? Even if it is just paracetamol with fruit juice!" Draco was now bright red with laughter.

Artemis however, was not finding it funny. He threw back his covers, hurled himself out of bed and stormed over to the window sill. He grabbed the vase of flowers that were there and went angrily over to Draco's bed. Draco cowered under him, making strange squeeking sounds. This was not surprising after his last encounter with a vase. Artemis decided that he had humiliated Draco enough, and instead went over to Spike, who was still laughing and hadn't noticed him. Artemis turned the vase upside down, and watched as the flowers, dead leaves and murky water ran all over the now screaming vampire. Spike swore a lot, then ran into the bath room squealing. It wasn't long before he ran out again having been punched by Ron, who had just got out of the shower.

The situation in the girl's dormitory was much quieter. Only Hermione was awake. She had been for a while, and was waiting until a sensible time to wake the others. Looking at her clock, she decided that it was now a sensible time. She crept over to Mia's bed and poked her.

"Mia?"

No reaction.

"Mia?" she poked her again. "Mia wake up."

Mia didn't wake up, but rolled over, groaning in her sleep.

Hermione left her, and went over to Buffy's bed.

"Buffy?"

A sharp smack in the ribs told Hermione that Buffy didn't want to get up either.

Hermione gave up, and went to the window. She ripped the curtains open and started singing 'Oh what a beautiful morning' very loudly. This combination of sudden piercing light and astonishingly bad singing was enough to wake up the other four girls. Cinderella poked her head out of her covers and groaned.

"You do realise you are completely out of tune?" she snapped.

Hermione stopped singing and smiled at her.

"Absolutely."

"Who's that?" Cooper was now at the window, looking down into the drive. Buffy joined her, also squinting down into the drive.

"Looks like a bus driver."

"What makes you say that?"

"He just got off a bus."

"Oh, yeah."

Buffy collapsed once more onto her bed.

"Alcohol is amazing. It even makes clever people dumb."

Cooper glared at her, and then looked down at the bus driver once more.

"Hey, Mr S is talking to him! And nodding!"

"Oh no. That's treacherous." Buffy rolled onto the floor, groaning.

"Look, mock me all you want but I tell you, something is going on."

Cooper was proved right when a strange beeping sound rang out, followed by an American woman's voice,

"Good morning students. Please make your way downstairs and be outside at nine o'clock sharp. Thank you. Enjoy your trip!"

"What the hell was that all about?" Mia said, sitting up.

"I vote we send brains to go and find out." Buffy was still on the floor.

Hermione, sensing an argument brewing, stood on her bed and cleared her throat.

"The only way we find out is by getting ourselves outside at nine o'clock sharp. Now shut up and get dressed!"

Mr Schneebly looked at the line of disgruntled students. He walked slowly along the line, ticking something on a clip board. He stopped at Artemis, peered right into his face and smiled. Then he carried on. When he got to the end, he hurled the clipboard at the bus driver, who looked rather taken aback, and stowed it on the bus. Mr S then stood in front of the students.

"Well. Don't you all look like little rays of sunshine this fine morning?" He smiled evilly and clapped his hands.

"Guess what? You're all going on a trip!"

"To the seaside?" Cinderella piped up hopefully.

Mr S laughed.

"No. to the practice gig!"

The ten faces before him dropped.

"What?" Harry repeated.

"I don't know why you all look so shocked. We spent all lesson talking about it."

"Er, Mr S? We really didn't." Ron looked at his teacher, rubbing his neck.

"What do you mean, 'we really didn't'?"

"Look dude. We haven't talked about any practice gig, so what do you say we all just go back to bed and forget this ever happened?" Spike turned around and was about to walk back inside when Mr S laid a firm hand on his shoulder.

"Fangs, get your hungover backside onto that bus and give me less of the lip."

Spike was too knackered to argue, and walked lopsidedly over to the steps of the bus, where the driver was standing.

"Er, has your teacher got mental issues?" the driver looked scared.

"Yeah. It's a rare condition. I think it's called moron-itus."

Spike hauled himself onto the bus, than walked right down to the back of it. He spread himself across the back seat, put his jacket over his eyes and announced to the driver that he was having a nap.

Mr S was loading the other students onto the bus. Once everyone was seated and the equipment was loaded, he stood up at the front of the bus, the driver next to him.

"Ok, the driver's got some stuff he wants to say." Mr S sat down and faced the front.

The driver stood up and looked down the bus.

"Good morning folks. My name is Brendon, and I'm gonna be your driver today. Please keep your feet off the seats, deposit gum in the bins, take all litter off the coach with you and be good little kids."

"What happens if we break any of the rules?" Spike said from under his jacket.

Brendon turned around to face Spike.

"I crash the bus and you all die." He grinned widely and sat down in the drivers seat, briefly consulting his map book. Then, he revved up the engine, turned on some loud music and pulled out of the drive.

"Look." Mia pointed at a CD case on the seat behind Brendon.

It read:

**Songs to Make Hangovers Worse**

**(Headache provokers)**

Cooper looke at Cinderella.

"I think we are in for a rough ride."

To be continued……..


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen (I think?)

I'm so sorry I haven't updated in like, forever, and please please please please don't come after me with an array of guns (you know who you are you nasty person, I AM SORRY, OK?) Here's chapter fourteen…..

After the hour long bus journey to the gig, all ten students were even groggier than they had been when they had first climbed on to the bus. The driver, Brendon, had not helped the situation. The album of 'headache provoking' songs had run through right to the end, at which point he played it again, louder. He and Mr Schneebly had been engrossed in conversation for most of the journey, and his attention to the road had suffered because of this. Despite almost ending up in several ditches and a canal, though, the two police cars that had overtaken had nodded politely at Brendon. As a third overtook at a high speed, Ron turned to Harry.

"Why is it that this guy is driving like a spaz and the entire police department of one town is still smiling at him?"

Ron pointed at a sticker in the window. It said:

'**Not only do I adore Police, I also transport criminal youths to detention centres. I make the world a better place.'**

Harry and Ron looked at each other incredulously.

"You lie to the _police_?" Ron said, wide eyed.

"Regularly." Brendon nodded.

"We are not delinquent youths!" Hermione had also noticed the sticker. "We are talented and respectable children!"

Mr S and Brendon looked at each other and burst into fits of laughter.

"Right! That's it! Mia! Give me your cell phone, Its time the police knew about this jerk!"

Mia's cell phone flew out of her hand as the bus screeched to a halt. Brendon turned around in his seat slowly, and looked at Hermione.

"He's crazy!" Cooper whispered to Cinderella.

Brendon walked over to Hermione menacingly. She cowered below him on the floor, gulping.

Then he smiled.

"You know, I guess you're right. I am being a bit of a jerk today. Have a chocolate paperclip?" Brendon held out a hand to Hermione and a large bag of choclate paperclips to Harry. He told Harry to hand around the bag.

"And when it's empty, throw it on the floor. And don't you lovely little rays of sunshine worry if you smear chocolate into the seats, in fact, go for it! Just have fun!"

He beamed and resumed his seat at the front of the bus. The ten students, (well, nine because Spike was snoring loudly in his sleep) just stared at Brendon open mouthed.

"Dude, what the hell are you on?" Malfoy yelled. "You're high!"

Brendon started the engine cheerfully.

"I'm high on life my friend." The bus began moving again, gradually gaining speed, until it was impossible to tell where they were because everything was far too blurry.

Artemis was just about to be sick when the bus ground to an abrupt halt. Mr S got up and began to clap.

"Let's all congratulate Brendon on a fantabulous journey!" He clapped loudly and ignored the fact that no-one else was joining in. Artemis ran up the aisle and hurled himself off the bus. Mr S shook his head as the retching sound followed.

"I hope you all learn from Geeky's state of disgustingness that consuming alcohol in large amounts is wrong. Now get yourselves into that hall and play a face melting show!"

The students winced as Mr S shouted, and one by one, they dragged themselves off the bus. Brendon continued to beam insanely, and then announced that he was coming in to watch the gig.

"Oh my god, we are so doomed," Ron groaned.

"What's up with you?" Harry asked as they carried their instruments into a large reception area.

"You really want to know?"

Harry nodded.

"Ok. I'm stuck in the middle of a random place with a bass guitar that hates me, a fat loser who thinks he's a teacher, a bus driver that has to be on crack and the mother of all hangovers."

"Oh I see. So its not because I accidentally smeared chocolate into your favourite shirt then."

Harry winced at the look on his best friend's face.

**(I'm sorry this chapter is so short and crappy, I break up for easter on Friday and I plan to have a mass update session. Please don't give up on me or my story, I know we suck at the moment, but I promise I'll sort it out on Saturday! Again, sorry.)**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Once inside the reception area, the students were told they would have to wait about ten minutes until the other band had left the stage. Ron and Harry seated themselves on their guitar cases, Hermione perched on her keyboard case, Buffy hitched herself up onto the counter area next to the young, female assistant, Mia and Cinderella were quietly going through their scales, Cooper was, as usual, bent over her laptop, Malfoy was trying to start a fight with someone from another band and Artemis and Spike were sitting cross-legged in the doorway looking extremely miserable.

"Why are you two losers sitting in everyone's way?" the assistant asked.

Artemis looked up, a hat with the band's name on falling over his eyes.

"Because we are roadies and if we sit where everyone wants to go then more people will see us and worship our band."

The assistant's attention was then averted by Buffy, who was screwing up leaflets and throwing them at passers by. Mr Schneebly, however, seemed very pleased with Artemis, and went over to whack him hard on the back. Artemis said nothing; he just wheezed and attempted a smile. Brendon, the bus driver, had perched himself next to Hermione on the keyboard case.

"What's up dudette?" he asked her. "You got a face like a smacked backside."

Hermione turned to face him.

"I…I'm just nervous. My hands feel like jelly, and this is bad because I need them to play the keyboard." Hermione looked at Harry, who was now chatting up the assistant.

"Is that your boyfriend?" Brendon asked, also looking at Harry.

Hermione narrowed her eyes.

"Former." She said menacingly. She got up and walked over to Malfoy.

"Hey Granger! You look even more like a bog brush today!" Malfoy said happily.

Hermione grabbed his drumsticks and pushed him into a passing crowd, not waiting to see the trampled result.

Instead she stormed over to Harry and the female assistant, and stepped in-between them.

"Harry! You are a complete fucking wazzock and your guitar playing sucks!" She whacked him with the drumsticks and then kicked him where you shouldn't really kick guys. When Hermione was satisfied with the degree of pain she had inflicted upon Harry, she turned to the assistant.

"And you! You skinny little bitch! Did your mother never teach you not to fraternize with other peoples boyfriends?"

Just as Hermione grabbed a bottle of coke and removed the lid, Brendon grabbed her arm and began to steer her away.

"She's got a few problems bless her," He said to the assistant sympathetically. "That's right Hermy, you have a drink and we'll soon have you back in the home, won't we?" Brendon half dragged an outraged Hermione outside to the lobby.

He let go of her and ducked as the coke bottle flew towards him. It smashed as it hit the wall.

"Do you always freak out like this when people break up with you?" he asked, laughing.

Hermione scowled at him.

"Only when they forget to tell me that we have broken up." She said through lenched teeth.

Brendon raised his eyebrows. "He did that? What a twat."

Hermione sat down with a thump on a bench, looking extremely upset.

"Hey, your not gonna cry are you? I don't do emotional chicks."

He went over and sat down next to her.

"No, but I want to. I hate that stupid fool! How could he do that? In front of every one as well." She sniffed.

"Ok. Here's what we're gonna do."

He handed a tissue with a sneaky expression on his face.

Meanwhile in the reception area, Malfoy looked slightly bruised and Harry was still walking around holding his crutch. The girls had all stormed out (except Buffy who was picking fights with random people) and Artemis was hiding in a broom cupboard, wishing for the hundredth time that Butler was there. Spike was nowhere to be seen, and Ron was just sitting calmly in the middle of the room.

Harry sat down next to him, and groaned.

"Don't look at me mate, I'm not getting involved." Ron said grinning.

There was a sudden gush of noise as Mr Schneebly stormed in.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" he bellowed. The room fell silent.

"Would someone like to explain to me why I have the manager of this establishment threatening to sue me, two of my band members disabled, four being more unco-operative than a four year old child and three missing?"

"Er…two missing," Ron corrected him, gesturing Artemis, who was crawling out of the broom cupboard.

"And the girls are refusing to play anything until Harry apologises to Hermione whom he cheated on." He added, looking at the floor.

"I got caught in a stamped due to Bog brushes hissy fit," Malfoy said, blood still gushing out of his nose.

"And Fangs?" Mr S questioned.

"I'm right here." The vampire swung himself down from the ceiling, announcing that he'd been for a walk on the roof to try to get himself 'in the zone' ready for the gig. This only left Hermione Un-accounted for.

"It's all his fault," Cinderella said, pointing at Harry. "He's the dirty rotten cheat."

Harry sighed as the girls all started yelling accusations at him. Spike joined in the yelling, and Malfoy just bled everywhere.

"So basically, the band is in disarray because Bush lady went wacko?" Mr S asked A very calm Ron.

"Yep, that's about it."

"SHUT UP!"

Everyone looked up to see who had shouted.

Hermione was in the middle of the room, hand in hand with Brendon.

"Ok, everyone. Harry and slut girl are welcome to each other, as I now have a new boyfriend." She gestured to Brendon.

"NO WAY! HIM?" Harry yelled. "But he's a jerk!"

"No Harry, you are the jerk. Now, let's all just forget this ever happened, and go and play an awesome show so we can go home. What do you say?"

The girls all nodded, as did Ron and Artemis.

Harry looked away and swallowed.

"What about you blondie?" Mr S said, poking Malfoy.

"I'd love to forget this, but I'm not sure if my nose will let me."

Hermione got out her wand and did a spell, and the blood running from Malfoy's nose disappeared.

"Spike? You know that little spell I worked, you know that one where you can now go out in sun light and not shrivel up like an overdone pork chop?" Hermione said sweetly.

"Forget, eh? Forget what?" Spike said nervously.

"Splendid!" Mr S exclaimed. "Now I think they are ready for us in the hall." He led the way into the hall, with the ten students lugging their instruments behind.

"You want me to get that?" Brendon offered, as Hermione struggled with her keyboard.

"Could you?" she said sweetly, ignoring Harry completely.

"I wonder what the judges are like?" she continued. "Do you know them?"

Brendon nodded. "They are ok, but pretty ruthless. You guys had better watch out."

Hermione gulped.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be fine. You rock at playing the keyboard! And if you mess up, just smile at them and they will love you."

"Really?"

"Well, it worked for me, didn't it?" Hermione and Brendon kissed, right in front of Harry.

"Yeah, I guess it did." Hermione smiled.

**Judges in next the chapter! I'll try real hard to remember who you are, but if I get any wrong, please let me know!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Hi. I realise that it has been ages since I updated this story but thats not my fault- stuff has happened. Anyway, back on track now, so here goes. All those of you that requested to be judged are in this chapter, but sorry if you are in any way dis-satisfied with the way I have written you in. If it's a major problem let me know and I'll do what I can to change it. Also I apolagise for any errors with the story- It's a long time since I looked at it to know what's going on.**

The ten students entered the hall, followed closely by Mr S and Brendon, the bus driver. They all stuck close together, staring at the huge auditorium around them. It was lavishly decorated with gold and red, giving it an almost royal feel. There was a massive stage at the far end, which, at the minute, was masked by a deep red curtain. Facing the stage, with their backs to the students, were three judges. They were on a raised podium, and none of them turned around when the students entered behind them. Harry walked close to Hermione, the rest of the group in awed silence.

"I realise I acted like a jerk back there, but you didn't have to go and humiliate me by making special friends with that seventeen year old phsyco of a bus driver!" he whispered angrily.

Hermione stared cooly at him.

"Harry darling, if you talk to me again I will make sure that you lose the ability to have children. EVER."

She smiled sweetly and shuffles fowards to walk next to Brendon.

Mia gulped.

"Those guys look pretty mean," she said to Ron, who also looked terrified. "What are we gonna do?"

Ron smiled weakly.

"I'd love to say run, but the sensible idea would be to play our song really really REALLY well."

The group reached the stage and faced the judges. Mr S walked fowards and adressed the judges. Brendon took a seat in the audience and smiled encouragingly at Hermione.

"Good afternoon. I, as I'm sure you remember, are Mr Ned Schneebly and this is my current band, School of Rock."

The judges said nothing, just stared at him calmly. Mr S shifted his weight from one foot to the other on the spot.

"Good afternoon, School of Rock." The judge at the far end spoke to them in a loud but clear voice.

"My name is Sammy. Today I will be assessing your musical ability and grade you on your playing of your instruments."

She looked slowly along the line of terrified students, focusing on Spike and Ron, who were wearing their full roadie outfits.

"I will also be watching your roadies." She smiled, putting the students at more ease.

Harry thought how pretty she looked, and began to form a plan as to how to get Hermione back. Sammy could be the perfect candidate to help.

The judge next to him was not so nice. She stared icily at the students, her mouth curved in a thin line.

"I am Victoria. I have seen more talent in a fish tank than what I have seen today, so I hope for your sakes that you are very, very good."

She spoke slowly, narrowing her eyes and tapping a pen against the glass of water on her table.

"And I am Jenna." The judge at the other end of the table spoke up, also looking quite threataning.

"I'll be watching your light show and watching how you plan to interact with your audience."

Cooper gulped and clutched her laptop to her chest.

"That said, get your arses on the stage and play your damn song," Victoria said menacingly.

The huge curtain behind them on the stage opened with a roaring sound, revealing a sparkling musical set up with huge speakers at the sides. The band made their way quickly to their places, and Cooper was led to a sound and lighting booth by a huge security guard. Mr S winked at her briefly, acknoledging her terrified face. He then grouped the band briefly together at the front of the stage and whispered to them.

"Ok, guys, I know those judges seem a bit...difficult..."

"Difficult? They are bloody menaces!" Cinderella gulped.

"Listen, just ignore them. Besides, Sammy seems like she might be on your side. School of Rock has a good reputation. Now, go play your hearts out!"

He clapped his hands and went to sit down in the audience next to Brendon.

Buffy took her place at the micraphone and lowered it to her height. She blew into it lightly and looked at the judges. Already they were scribbling furiously on their note pads.

Malfoy gave four taps on his drum sticks to count the band in, as Cooper began the light show up in the booth.

The song seemed to go on forever, as each student concentrated hard on their role. Ron and Spike put their all into getting their imaginary audience going, pulling moves such as rolling around on the floor and diving off the stage. When it was over, they stood where they were, bewildered. Brendon, Mr S and Sammy were clapping, but stopped when they saw the faces of the other two judges. The students all felt a sinking feeling.

Hermione leaned on her keyboard and closed her eyes. Buffy stood back from the micraphone and looked at Spike, who was rubbing his kneck and groaning quietly.

Ron looked thoroughly ill, but was looking up to the sound and lighting booth watching for Cooper to come down. When she did she gripped the hand rail and walked robotically down the stairs.

Cinderella and Mia were actually holding each others hands for support, and Draco was tapping his knee with his sticks out of nervessness. Artemis and Harry held on to their guitars like their lives depended on it. The atmosphere was thick with nerves. Jenna picked up her glass of water and stared at them through it. Victoria was still writing things down on her note pad and Sammy was shuffling her papers. Then Victoria spoke.

"Well. That was...interesting."

Suddenly Mia could stand it no more.

"ALRIGHT LADY CAN IT! BEFORE YOU TELL US HOW CRAP WE ARE YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS!"

The stress and emotion of the weeks she had spent at School of Rock came out in an angry fit of verbal violence.

"YOU THREE ARE SO FAR UP YOUR OWN ARSES YOU COULD EAT LAST NIGHT'S DINNER! I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU DO BETTER IN SUCH A SHORT TIME YOU YOU JUMPED UP WANNABEES !"

The judges looked at her steadily.

"I THINK THAT EVERYONE HERE WILL AGREE WITH ME THAT WE JUST PLAYED THE BEST SHOW WE COULD HAVE PLAYED, AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK! SO SHOVE YOUR POXY NOTES WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE CAUSE WE DONT GIVE A DAMN!"

She had gradually gone redder and redder, but not with embarassment, with anger. There was an astonished silence, in which Mr S had buried his head in his hands. Then the cheering started.

"Yeah! Woohoo!"

"Go Mia! You tell em!"

Artemis had thrown his guitar on the floor and grabbed Mia by her waist, lifting her up and yelling.

Everyone went completely out of character, except Spike who smashed things up only stopping to snog Buffy. Ron and Cooper were throwing the roadie outfits into the empty audience and cheering. Harry watched Hermione jump off the stage onto Brendon, and jumped after her. They landed in a pile somewhere in the front row. Cinderella started yelling swearwords into her micraphone and Draco threw his symbols at the judges, who cowered behind their desks. The comotion went on for a while, stopping only when there was nothing else to smash up. It was only then that the judges felt it safe to come out. They settled themselves in their seats, staring wide eyed at the mess on stage, and the outrageously happy band in a huge hug.

"Now, before we get angry..." Sammy began nervously, but was cut off by Jenna.

"BY GOD YOU GUYS GOT SPUNK!" She ripped up her notes and threw them behind her into the rows of empty seats.

Victoria did the same, but went one step further and spat on them.

"YOU ARE THE BEST BAND I HAVE EVER SEEN! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET YOUR INSANE ROCK ATTITUDES? I WANT ONE!"

The judges left their podium and hurled themselves onto the stage.

It was the student's turn to be astonished and slightly scared.

The judges were slapping them on the backs and kissing them. Only Sammy watched from the floor. Harry, who had left Hermione and Brendon in the front row, walked up to her and poked her.

"So, did we get in?"

She turned to face him.

"Did you get in? Of course you bloody got in! You rocked this place more than an earthquake!"

Harry cheered and grabbed Sammy, snogging her. She looked slightly shocked, but not as shocked as Harry himself looked.

Mia was raised above the heads of the students and paraded around the stage.

Mr S knew that there would be no peace on the way or home, or at all that night. In fact, if he had of known what was going to happen, he probably wouldn't have even got on the bus...

**Please review! I hope this isn't as bad as I think! Next chapter up soon I promise!**


	17. Sports Day

**Sports Day**

**Just a little bit of fun in the midst of all the rocking….**

Mr Schneebly strolled casually into the classroom, just as he had done every day since the students had arrived. It was afternoon registration, but today was different from all those other days. When they had first arrived, confused and worried, Mr S had explained to them all that they were there for a purpose- to learn how to play a face melting rock show, and until they did they would not be allowed to leave. Mr S had taken it upon himself to lead them in their mission and took the title of teacher. However, he could not be less like a teacher if he tried. On that first day all he had had to show for a 'register' was a crumpled scrap of paper in his pocket. Things had only gone downhill from there, so it was a mystery how the he had managed to draw a reasonably ok sounding rock song out of them all. The students put it down to his extensive knowledge of the rock world and left it at that. However, today was very different. Mr S stopped in front of his amazed class of ten students. The reason behind their amazement? Firstly, Mr S actually looked presentable- he had washed his hair and brushed it, and was dressed in what seemed to be smart clothing. Secondly, he had replaced the scrap of paper with a clipboard, and pair of reading glasses were perched on the end of his nose in order for him to read it.

"Er, Mr S…." Harry started.

"Shut it boy! Its register time!"

Harry closed his mouth and gulped. What the hell had happened to Mr S?

"Ok. Harry Potter." Harry answered his teacher in a high squeaky voice.

"Artemis Fowl."

Artemis sat up abruptly.

"Er…you didn't call me geeky."

"Well observed. Are you here?"

Artemis nodded in a bored fashion.

Mr Schneebly continued with the register until he had safely established that all the students were present. Then he turned the page on his clipboard. Hermione Granger raised her hand.

"What do you want?"

Hermione frowned.

"Sir, what's going on? Why do you have an actual civilised register?"

Mr S rolled his eyes.

"Firstly, I got utterly busted by the principal for my non existent register over the past…. however long you sad people have been here- something to do with fire. And secondly, you kiddies are in for a treat. It's our annual bestest day of the whole entire year- SPORTS DAY."

Hermione gulped.

"Oh no."

"Oh yes! So. Time to choose events! Come on you happy people! Volunteer yourselves!"

Mr S walked over to a projector and switched it on.

"Geeky hit the lights!"

Artemis cursed, got up and switched the lights off. The curtains were already closed, as Mr S didn't like the sunlight- it affected his hangovers. The machine projected an oversized list of sports events on to the wall, with empty boxes next to the events.

"So clever children. Guess what goes in the boxes? Come on, if you don't volunteer I'll be forced to nominate you myself! One by measly one."

No one in the room spoke.

"Ok we got…."

"I'll do the dressing up race."

The entire room exploded with laughter as Draco Malfoy raised his hand and spoke.

"What? It's the easiest one!"

Mr S wrote Malfoy's name next to his event on the interactive list. He also wrote next to it that Draco played the drums in the schools band- apparently for references. Not every one was as keen to select an event, so Mr S decided to hand them out.

"Ok, so Buffy- you get Shot put."

Spike laughed.

"Dude, that's not even near as funny as blondie in drag."

Spike laughed again.

"You won't be saying that when she knocks out everyone within a twenty mile radius."

After adding the fact that Buffy was lead singer in the band, Mr S appointed Cinderella as the javelin thrower. Cinderella wasn't even listening, so she had no objections to switching from backing vocals to javelin for a day. Mia was given the sack race, and was desperately trying to work out how her backing vocal skills could help her in this.

"Ok, Hermione- you call Long jump."

Hermione's face fell.

"I've never jumped anywhere in my life! I just fall!"

Mr S gave her a cheerful grin.

"Well I'm sure Fangs here will help you out as he gets High jump."

The teacher added the band's keyboard player and roadie to the list to their immediate disgust.

"Ok, what we got left? Ah yes…. Ginger can have 1500 metres."

Ron sat bolt upright.

"You mean running?"

"No ginge I mean speed knitting."

Ron scowled at Mr S's sarcasm as he watched 'bass guitarist' being written in his slot.

"Cooper, you get 400 metres- you and ginger can knit together!"

The usually astute and clever Cooper Rivers buried her head in her arms.

"I do computer stuff! Sounds and lights for shows! I don't fricking run!"

"Well ya do now. Harry can have egg and spoon race, yes that will do nicely."

Harry Potter watched in what seemed like a relatively calm mood as his name and place in the band (lead guitar) were added next to the egg and spoon race.

Artemis screamed as he saw the only box left. And I mean screamed. 

"No way. Out of the question."

Mr S sighed writing 'Artemis Fowl' and 'roadie' next to the 'Hurdles' category.

"Well I'm sorry you feel like that."

"I'm so out of here!"

Artemis got up and made for the door, but was stopped by Mr S- who happened to be at least twice his size.

"You're going nowhere geeky! Now get some band practice in and I'll see you dogs out on the sports field tomorrow!"

Mr S let himself out of the classroom and locked the students in, whistling a jolly tune to himself.

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Later that night, the students took a few hours to reflect upon their possible fates the next day. The girl's dorm was reasonable quiet. Buffy was doing press ups, claiming that it would improve her arm muscle ready for the shot tomorrow. Cinderella was painting her nails and was still not completely clear on what she had to do.

"So I have to throw a really long stick?"

Cooper rolled her eyes looking up from her laptop.

"Yes, but its in a controlled area."

"Which way do I throw it then?"

Cooper ignored Cinderella and went back to researching breathing techniques on the Internet. Mia was buried under her quilt, sulking at her misfortune, and Hermione was simply reading.

The boy's dormitory was decidedly louder. This was due to the fact that Artemis had been tied to his bed by two school security guards after numerous escape attempts, and now needed the toilet.

"PLEASE I'M DESPERATE! I'm not kidding, I'll urinate all over the floor cos I'm way beyond caring!"

It was true, he did look mad. His usually well-kept appearance had spun out of control and he looked like a complete psycho. Everyone else was ignoring him. Harry was dangling himself out of his bunk bed every so often, claiming that it would either improve his balance techniques of kill him so he didn't have to participate. Draco had turned to vandalism to 'take his mind off of sports day' and was currently shredding some curtains. Ron was lying on the floor groaning and begging someone to break his legs whilst Spike snored loudly from the closet. If only the students had known how much 'fun' sports day was going to be.

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"CAN BUFFY SUMMERS PLEASE MAKE HER WAY TO THE SHOT PUT AREA."

Buffy sighed and stepped away from the megaphone that was blaring in her ear.

"Mr S, I can hear you."

She ran towards the huge nets that had been erected around the throwing areas and took her place at the shot put one. She was handed a heavy lead ball by a tracksuited sports teacher.

"Now you get three throws. Furthest throw wins."

As it turned out, only four people were transported to hospital following Buffy's event, and only then did she see fit to tell them that as the vampire slayer she had super strength. Cinderella however, was at the other extreme. Her furthest javelin throw was a grand total of 22 cm, which was apparently the most pathetic throw School of Rock had ever seen.

Over at the race track, princess Mia of Genovia was having a few problems.

"You want me to get in there?"

She held up a brown sack that was falling to bits.

"It's a bloody sack! And _I'm_ a princess!"

She threw it to the ground and stamped her feet.

"Ok can we get the lady a new sack?" a sports teacher yelled. Shortly after a brand new sack was handed to Mia, who was still un-impressed.

"I can't believe this!"

She climbed inside it and waited for the whistle. She needn't have made such a fuss, as she landed on her arse about 3 seconds in and lost the race. She stood up and scowled, willing the crowd not to laugh, but most of them were roaring. Hermione was readying herself for her third and final jump at the long jump pit. Harry and Ron were there to 'support' her, as was Brendon, the bus driver who currently held the title of her boyfriend (much to Harry's disgust, but that's all explained in 'School of Rock'). She put on a determined face and got in to the start position.

"Come on Hermy! You can do it!"

Hermione frowned.

"Never call me that again. And I have sand everywhere! It's so distracting!"

The whistle blew and she took her run up. The jump had two sides to it. It was a great jump and gave her the winning length, but unfortunately she broke two of her toes as she had miscalculated the length of the pit. Mr S threw a chocolate bar at her and told her to eat it whilst he phoned an ambulance. Brendon hugged Hermione and tried to reassure her that two broken toes was nothing- he had once played a rock show with two broken legs.

"You're such a fucking liar!" Hermione yelled in obvious pain.

Brendon shrugged.

"Well I'll break my legs if you like, if it helps!"

Hermione smiled.

"You'd do that for me?"

Spike was also encountering a few difficulties with his jumping. He hadn't yet mastered the concept of jumping over a bar, and was instead jumping on random passers by.

"OW!"

"SPIKE IS DISQUALIFIED!" Mr S boomed through the mega phone. Spike shrugged and wandered off towards the ambulance picking up Hermione, announcing that he was 'going for a little ride.'

At the athletics track Cooper and Ron were warming up. It was announced that 400m would be first so Cooper took her place on the 400m track. According to her calculations, that was…. One lap.

"Yeah! Go Cooper!"

She nodded gratefully at Ron who was cheering at the sideline. However, after hyperventilating half way around the track, Cooper soon joined Hermione in the ambulance.

"What happened?" demanded Mr S, alarmed at the amount of suing he faced.

"I….was just…..doing those……breathing techniques….." Cooper gasped, holding on to her oxygen mask.

Ron was now somewhat un-nerved. He faced four laps pf the vicious track, and was not looking forwards to it. He took his place at the start and bent down in the start position. When the gun was fired, he set off, determined to finish the race for Cooper. However his dreams were dashed and his dignity destroyed when he was disqualified from the race.

"What? I didn't do anything!"

An official strode over and frowned.

"Son, you were running in the complete opposite direction to what you should have been."

Ron went very red and strode over to the ambulance, claiming it must have been his 'illness.'

Back at the racetrack, Harry was preparing for his egg and spoon race. He held a large spoon and on it was balancing an egg.

"Come on Potter, get us some damned points!" Mr S screamed, waving his clipboard. It seemed that most of the school was watching the track, so Harry stood up straight. But on seeing his two best friends in the ambulance, he decided that they were much more important and ditched the race. He threw the egg at an official and the spoon at Mr S, and ran towards the ambulance, which still hadn't left because Spike was bouncing on the roof.

As the racetrack was now empty, the dressing up race was prepared. Hats, coats, gloves, skirts and shoes were placed at regular intervals along the track and it was announced that the first one to the end fully clothed would win. Draco blushed as he noticed that most of the participants were under the age of 10. That was nothing compared to the colour he turned at the end. Dressed in a long yellow coat, a flowery skirt, a top hat, washing up gloves and wellies, he had to suffer the numerous camera flashes and cutting remarks before he could move anywhere.

"Hey Malfoy, want some lipstick to go with your new look?" Harry yelled from the ambulance, where everyone apart from Artemis was laughing their arses off.

Artemis was preparing for the hurdles. He was dressed in long jogging bottoms and a sleeveless athletics top, which drew attention to the curious colour of his skin- it was orange.

"Dude, what the hell happened to you?" Mr S asked.

Having suffered enough embarrassment himself, Malfoy decided to shift the attention to Artemis.

"I caught him in the early hours with a bottle of fake tan!"

Everyone stared at the usually pale boy, and then did some more laughing.

The gun went and the contestants set off. Artemis was about two metres behind everyone else and was struggling. As he came to the first hurdle he didn't quite lift his legs high enough and ended up sprawled on the ground.

"Dude, you ok?"

"Of course I'm not ok! I just fell arse over shit in front of hundreds of people!" Artemis stormed off and was once again restrained by some security guards.

Mr S sighed to himself as he counted up the band's points. It looked bleak.

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And so it was that the band failed every event they took part in, apart from the long jump. But did it really matter? Battle of the Bands was approaching, and that was their main concern. But that day a record was set- the most dignity lost in one day.

**Some of this stuff actually happened at school- a select few of you will know what. You will understand this more if you read "School of Rock" and you'll find out what happens next- if you want to of course! Free country and everything………**

**Thanks for reading**

**x x x x x x x**


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